"Transformers" can lay claim as the longest commercial you'll ever love watching. Spilling over two and half hours, The "Transformers" movie is a gigantic advertisement for the US Military, the new Camaro and of course a line of robot toys from Hasbro. However the eye candy is so sweet you can't pull away. Your eyes will struggle just to keep up with the hyper actualized visuals as the "Transformers" change between the 2008 line of US cars and trucks into incredibly articulated walking talking robots here to save the planet Earth.

And regardless that the characters and dialog are as ridiculous as the basic premise of the movie, "Transformers" comes through where it counts and delivers a summer spectacle worth the wait in line. The special effects budget bursts at its seams, and the bar is raised once again on what a summer blockbuster means. And as strong as the imagery is, the sound design cements the experience, with gooey sounding audio effects that sync up to the millions of moving parts on screen.

"Transformers" is at its best when it revives the ongoing American muscle car rivalry when a Decepticon shows up as a sinister looking modern Mustang police cruiser and tangles with the friendly Autobot Bumblebee who rolls as both the classic and current Camaro. The movie also shines when the creators smartly set the final battle in downtown Los Angeles where the tall buildings provide a perfect backdrop to destroy while the two competing Transformer tribes duke it out.

However, "Transformers" is filled with questionable moments that reveal the filmmakers not so subtle politics and perversions. Like when Iran and North Korea are named as the first possible suspects behind the initial robot attack. And as a Michael Bay movie, you expect to see gratuitous soft core moments like when the camera lingers on Megan Fox's abs as she leans over a car engine. However Bay manages to cover some new low ground in a surprisingly shocking scene, we are exposed to a full frontal view of one of the "Transformers" relieving themselves on top of John Turturro who hopefully was well paid to be on the receiving end of the films gross out humor.

Steven Spielberg is listed as an Executive Producer and perhaps he's responsible for adding the suburban family moments or leaving it up to the group of scruffy looking computer kids led by what appears to be a hot blonde underwear model, to help the government save the day. Either way I'm sure he and the "Transformers" production company will enjoy cashing the checks from this endeavor just as much as the mainstream movie munching public will have fun checking their brains at the door and watch the computer rendered fireworks fly on screen.

Stepping out to enjoy some real fireworks, For Movie Magazine, this is Purple.

© 2007 - Purple - Air Date: 7/4/07