Nine Months Nine Months Remember all those zany coming attractions they've been running for "Nine Months" that include a wacky, fun-filled romp at the San Francisco Police Department's mug shot division? Well, out of respect for its star's private life and in the interest of good taste, that romp wound up on the cutting room floor. But if the producers of "Nine Months" really gave a flying fig leaf about good taste, this excruciating mess of a movie would have wound up on the cutting room floor in its entirety.
Based on one of those ubiquitous "cute" French comedies, this transplant examines pregnancy from the male viewpoint. Hugh Grant's Samuel does NOT want the baby. The love of his life (Julianne Moore's Rebecca) DOES want the baby. They run into the Dwyer family from hell: Tom Arnold, Joan Cusack and their three-going-on-four demon children and instead of avoiding this obnoxious brood, they all become best friends. Hugh and Tom go to a toy store and beat up a character clearly based on Barney, har-de-har-har. Julianne eventually rejects Hugh to move in with Tom and Joan. Hugh eventually rejects an offer of sex he receives in his car from a relative stranger. Both Julianne and Hugh are afraid of their Russian obstetrician, played by Robin Williams. A string of mean-spirited cliches run on and on for 99 minutes.
Director Chris Columbus, who first was responsible for the unforced humor of "Adventures in Babysitting" and then for the unfathomable blockbusters "Home Alone" I and II, tries to wring laughs from situations where the men do most of their thinking with the libido and the women do all of their thinking with the uterus. Meanwhile, the British press, who shoot on sight any Brit becoming too famous in America, has been gleefully announcing the demise of Hugh Grant's wholesome cinematic image even before his recent scrape on Hollywood's Sunset Blvd. In Grant's latest movie, Mike Newell's "An awfully Big Adventure", opening nationwide next week, he'll be mugging his way through the role of a manipulative menace. Better that than playing a senseless fool for the rest of his life.
© 1995 Monica Sullivan